[SoRrY???]

Why is the hells bells is everyone saying sorry to me lately?? For realz, it's creeping me out. Kyle called and said sorry.. then Matt texted me and said sorry for picking on me lastnight. WHat is going on?? I mean, when Kyle called is for sure cheered me up. I was really upset that he was upset with me. But Matt... I wasn't really upset. I thought it was cute.... so it's ok I suppose. I'm uber happy and can't WAIT to talk to Matt in novel and be like "hahahaha you think I'm mad at yoooou..."

LOLz

Ummmmzzz.....

Yeah. SO I don't really know what to type.. so Imma go work on my digiphotography shizznits and type later.

[AlMoSt fRiDaY]

I'm ready for Friday... for sure. Because this week is too...

hectic

boring

ritualistic

dull

blaaah...

Yeppers. Too much reading this week for AP lit. It's making me want to cut my tongue out and hit Mr. Larsen with it..

Hahaha I totally just pictured that and it was totes HILARIOUS..

So you know what's even worse than people calling me at 2AM?? People SAYING they are gonna call me and then never do. Yeah. Total pet peeve. Speaking of pets... do you like my kitty?? I took that pic =^__^=

Uhmm...

I don't know what to talk about... well, there is this one girl I could talk about.. a friend of mine who is bisexual and has a little bit of a CRUSH on me. Yeah. Crazy, huh? She's cool though. And pretty cute <3>

HAHAHA XD

'Tis all for now.

[HaHa I'm A PoSeR]

So someone commented that blog thingy I'm on and called me a poser because I don't appear to be as messed up as most emo kids.. like.... that's funny... because, come on. If I'm gonna be featured on something public, am I gonna be all like "I cut myself and wanna die?" Fxck no. I'm not stupid..

Anywayz.. on another note, my day has pretty much SUCKED thus far. I am at the bustop waiting for the bus and remembered that I forgot my camera from school at home, so I missed the bus when I went to get it. Then I forgot the lens cap in my coat pocket and had to walk all the way back to the other side of the school to get it. BLAAAHz

It's okey dokey though. But my friend, Seth, called lastnight and left me a message saying that he's being sent to Afghanistan in May [he's in the marines or something] so it sucks =(

HELLO KITTY!!!!

[that's a pic I took for digital photography]

uhm... laterZ

[AwSoMe DaY *tHuS fAr*]

I fxcking love Jeffree Star...

This is pretty much a pretty cool day. Band class was epic. I'm most deff not going into details but it was totes awesome!

I also scared Robert by pretending I was looking at his a$$ when I was really just looking at his belt... actually, that's a lie. I was looking at the belt which drew me to look at his a$$ so... it was a win-win situation

JEFFREEEEEEE STAAAR!!! Robert FINALLY burnt a cd with his music on it. Brandy=happy because Jeffree Star= AWESOMENESSSSS

How come people only call me at like, two in the morning?? Seriously, I missed two calls from two people I really wanted to talk to because I was *duh* sleeping at the time they called.. one was almost two AM, the other was like, 2:47 AM. I was totes ready to call them back and be like

"WHY IN THE PURPLE MOUNTAINS MAJESTY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 2 AM??? GO THE FxCK TO SLEEP"

Bahhahahaha but I wouldn't do that... so instead I just complain when they never call back and then they ask why I didn't answer/call back and I'm like, "you're dumb.."

Oh, hey, I'm totally featured on this blog. So like.. friggin check me out...

http://fashion-emo-hairstyles.blogspot.com/2009/01/emo-girl-brandys-pictures-and-her.html

The story of my life.. I'm excited to be on a emo blog... hahaha my.life.is.so.random...

[SoMeThInG wOrTh ReAdInG]

To Write Love on Her Arms - Entertainment

I personally love this organization and everything they are doing. I came across this article while writing a research paper on the topic and thought that anyone who reads this might be interested. Thanks!!

[BoRiNg WeEkEnD]

So this weekend is so boring.. I spent my day watching Almost Famous and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and playing some Rock Band.. blah

So that's me with messy hair haha. I wanna photoshop this later...

I really don't know what to type about... People suck. Boys suck. Life sucks. End of story.

[LeArNiNg tO fALL]

I'm in a rather bad mood. I blame Ryan.. so his Facebook now says "engaged.." So much for him even wanting to date me. That's so friggin annoying, ya know? He says we need to make plans and then before he has a chance to even talk to me about those so called plans he is with someone else. Story of my life..

This week is soo hectic. It sucks. All I've done today in class is sit here and play online. I don't feel like doing anything. I even used a website to get past the block on Facebook to send him a message and then saw that.. You know, I had a dream that he did something like this. Guess is was a sign..

Forget it. It doesn't even matter. He lives in Muskegon anyways.. and besides, boys suck. Edward Cullen is the only guy worthy of mention and he's a character in a book [and now movie]

hahaha

[So LaSt NiGhT sUcKeD!!!]

Mood: Confused and Upset //___x

Soundtrack for Today: "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace

Lastnight was quite possibly the worse night of my life. Before you read this, please take a deep breath and don't worry. Please?? Ok, here it goes..

So I was online looking up sparknotes for the book I'm reading for AP Lit. I was sick of waiting for the page to load, so I mentioned how slow the internet was to my mom. She automatically started blaming me, saying it's because of all the music I have in the computer. I was like, "actually, mom, there isn't much, if any, of a connection, because I deleted all my music.." so she went spastic and told me to get off the computer. So I said, "mom, I can't. I'm doing homework." At this, she lost it. She came at me with her FIST, so, since I'm 17 and have enough sense to protect myself, I put my leg up to block her. This set her off and she started hitting me. My dad saw and came and pulled her off me. Then I tried to go to my room and my mom started hitting my dad, so he grabbed her and pinned her against the wall..

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, she got away from him and opened my door. My sister, who's 13, was in my room crying and I told my mom to get out and closed the door. She then flung it open and knocked me to the ground, so I have a bruise on my leg, a bruise on my arm, my finger got cut open, and my ankle was twisted and cut open. My dad came back in and got her out and said if she hit me he'd call the police. So she threatened to call the police on him because she had a mark where he grabbed her. Then she took off for like an hour in her car... she came back right before I went to bed and said nothing the rest of the night. And this morning she woke me up like everything was fine, never apologized, and never said anything to me about it.

I don't know how to react at this point. I mean, was i in the wrong? I did question her authority, but COME ON. You don't attack your children.. ya know?? Ugh. Am I just being overly emo about this?? I called my friend, Ian, who doesn't go to this school anymore, and he said that if I don't go to the councelor about this he'll call the school and tell them about it. T__T

I need some advice, peeps ... It would be much appreciated.

[YoWzAaA!!]

So I'm actually in a pretty epicly good mood today! It feels GREAT!! I don't exactly know why though. I mean, I have so much crap going on this week but it's ok. And all the stuff with my ex is better because

1. He's not calling me

2. He's not talking shxt about me

3.I hardly see him

4. I like someone else and am waaaay better off without him ^__^

Yeppers. I'm finally trying to be happy. My mom was talking me me lastnight though and she thinks I have a depressive disorder. She says she's noticed that I get upset alot, obsess over little things, talk really bad about myself... all that fun stuff. She thinks that it's because of the people I hang out with.. or the lack of people I hang out with. It just really sucks having friends that never ever want to hang out with me.. They're always too busy.. and I don't like the fact that they practically forget I exist //___x [insert emo tears here]

You know what makes me happy? When people prove that they care about me. Like Ryan the other night when, even though we hadn't talked in like, years, he asked me how my day was. It meant soo much to me.. And Jeremy uses my name when he speaks to me. I know it's dumb but when he gets ready to say goodbye he's always like, "take care, Brandy." Means the WORLD to me.

Bleck. Weekends = Pure Suckage

Hello once again to another installement of THE LIFE OF BRANDY PHILLIPS..

I don't know what to type about... //_x <----- that's an emo kid smiley thingy.. Matt showed it to me

I just took a looong break from typing.. as if you care haha. I went out and took some pics..

I'm actually quite stoked that I am talking to Ryan again. No lies. Because I never got to know him while he was here. It sucks that I never got to know him when he was here, but I am going to fix it. For sure. Plus he is so nice to me.. and calls me cute ^__^* He wants to come visit me sometime, too. Yay for me..

So I talk about alot of guys on here. Good luck keeping track at home lolz

And don't ask about the pic... I just took it and thought it was kinda shweet. I love this bracelet..

Blaaaah..

I'm sick of going on Facebook. It upsets me..

BUT someone I knew back in middle school who moved is talking to me online right now and he likes me.. so that's cool.. but he lives in Muskegon now...

And Jeremy never called. I talked to him on Facebook but he shrugged it off..

What else......

It's still cold. I'm still upset. I hate my friends....

My life is like the soundtrack of a bad 70's porno...

HAHAHA XD

Yeah... this is a pointless post..

[ToO cOLd To FuNcTiOn!!]

SO it's like, -8 degress F out today. It's ridiculous T__T This is what it looks like from the hill at my school ------------------------------>

Hmph. I don't know what to type about today because.. well.. I'm in a bad mood and don't wanna type out everything that's bothering me..

Actually, I will. I'll spill my guts..

First off, I wanted to talk to Jeremy last night but he's out of minutes.. so I called Ian and guess who answered? Jeremy ^_^ But then he had to go so he said he'd call back and I was like yeah right. You always say that. So he said he PROMISED and if he didn't call he'd cut off his penis and mail it to me O...o But guess what? He never called. I hate guys X_X

And my ex is still lying about me. Now he told his new girlfriend that I emailed him but that's all. Uhm, I only emailed him after HE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO. GAHH!!

Hmm.. what else...

School is so stressful! I'm sick of reading Shakespeare and stuff for novel and blah blah. Life is boring and school makes it even worse..

So back to the Jeremy thing.. sorry, it's bugging me.. I was watching American Idol lastnight and I was beginning to feel an anxiety attack coming on.. the whole deep breathing, eyes watering, throat closing effect... but I was like "oh no. Jeremy will call so I can't start to freak out because I'll scare him" so I just kept it in. Then he never called. So I have all this built up emotion crap in me right now and I just. wanna. scream!!!!!!!!!

But yesterday Mrs. Swift switched our seats.. hopefully not permanatly.. and we had to work in groups and Matt's group was next to mine so I could still talk and see him without staring at the back of his head.. and everytime I looked at him, he was looking back ^__^ He has this head nod-wink thing he does to me.. it drives me crazy..and he always makes me smile. It's a good feeling. BUT I have a feeling nothing will come of this >.<

My sister's birthday party is on Sunday. I invited Robert to come and hopefully keep me company but I'm afraid to meet his mom. I have a feeling that she won't like me.

I just noticed I'm a name dropper. It's bad. I just have alot of guy friends.. good luck keeping track. it's really funny though because when I get into a rant and mention tons of guys, Robert actually keeps track. AND remembers. Although he asked me to write them down so he's sure he won't forget. He's such a sweetie...

<3

[UpDaTe!]

So yesterday's post was err... pointless?? Yeah, pretty much. So here's the update on how I am..

Well, Dakota (my ex) called me again on Monday and we talked for like, an hour and a half. Things are so weird about him.. and he's lying to his girlfriend.. saying he doesn't think of me.. and he doesn't talk to me.. and blah blah blah. I swear he doesn't really care about her because he still cares so much for me. Maybe I'm naive but whatev. He's just stupid.

There's a dance coming up on Feb. 7th apparently. I didn't know because well.. I don't really care about those things. BUT Dakota is taking Katie which kinda sucks -___- So I'm thinking maybe I should make an appearence?? But then I have to go dress shopping with my mom and she'll see my scars.. so no fun.

Plus the only guy of interest here.. the one from the pic below.. probably doesn't know I exist on any level besides a friend.. I really wanna go with Jeremy, Ian's friend, but he already graduated and he doesn't have his license AND he has never gone to my school.. so I'd have to fill out a form for him to come.. and it'd be weird to be like ,"Hey Ian.. I know you used to go here and all but can you bring your friend because he totally pwns over you??" Hahahahahah ^__^

Ugh. Forget guys. They all suck. The End.

Real men make.. snowangels?

So I was walking around the school today complaining about not having anything to take pics of.. then my friend Matt came from KCTC and I was like "Yay! I can hang out with him ^__^" (I have a thing for Matt.. I don't know if he knows that though O__O) So we're hanging out.. skipping class.. then he's like, "I'll go outside and make a snow angel for you if you let me back in.." So I rolled my eyes because if he made one he'd be wet all day and I didn't believe he'd so it.. well, he did. As you can see *__* He's so adorable <3

Next block I sit behind him and I won't be able to control my laughing.. he will be dripping wet and no one will know why.. except me!! =)

Wow. Sorry about yesterday's rant..

Haha I read yesterday's post.. I need to get over this shxt. I mean, it's not good for me.. Not. At. All.

So I figured out yesterday that I can't wear a short or even semi-short dress to prom IF I go.. will I go? Probably not. Because no one likes me *emo tears* But if I wanna do I can't wear a cute dress because..well.. I have too many cuts on my legs now.. Yepp, I am a cutter. Haha. Don't worry. Stop biting your lip, widening your eyes, and all that fun stuff people do when they find out. It's really no big deal. I've done it since 7th grade.. so I'm a pro [god that's messed up]. It's really ok though. I've never been hospitalized and I'm careful.. so no worries.. Except if my parents find out I'm still doing it..

Ahhh no worries.. It'll be okey dokey..

On another note, I forgot all of my rings at home today x_x I feel so weird.. but I acutally look really cute today so it's ok!!

So if you're reading this, comment me. Let me know. Because I have one follower.. and no one else seems to know I exist!! It would be nice to make some uh friends..

<3

GAAAAAH!! So people. Need. To. Die.

I am now taking on the role of homewrecker. And if I cannot complete this task, my life has no meaning..

What am I talking about??
... fxck if I know...
Wait. I DO know. So my ex.. yeah.. the one who kissed me before break.. has a new girlfriend.

WHAT??

I know. It's messed up. I don't understand why he thinks he can replace me with her. There's NO COMPARING ME TO HER!!! I am what he wants. I know this for a mother fxcking fact!! And if not, why does he call me more now than ever before? Because he wants me. Eat that, bitch.

Ugh. Bad mood. I just wish he'd realize that I'm not playing. I am sorry. And I wanna fix it.

"What will it take to make you understand that I.. I'm not lying when I say I need you.."

I hate myself for this soo much... but she doesn't deserve him. She is just flirting. I have been here. I know him. I know everything about him. I know his downfalls.. his strong points...

I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY!! HE'S MINE >=O

Oh wow. I'm really really on a tangent. I'm gonna go before I say more crap that I'll regret tomorrow! But no one I know reads this anyways.. haha

This totally made my day ^_^

(\__/)
(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.

DROP THE GIRL, She's the only reason she's got you believing it's love..

So remember that post about my ex and me talking to him and blah blah blah? Well he has a new girlfriend.. yeah. All that happened the day before break.. he asked her out the day after break...

Story.Of.My.Life.

He called me last night and we talked for like, an hour and a half. And I couldn't. stop. crying. I don't know why, but this is really effecting me. But he asked me not to interfere and said he will never stop caring for me, so I feel a little better. Plus I fxcked this up. There's not much I can do now except wait.

Jeremy called last night. He's a friend of Ian's who is totally amazing. He helped me a lot. And he is trying to get me to move to with him and Ian this summer to Mackinac.. ha ha yeah right.

I am way too tired to continue typing. But I'll leave you with this amazing picture of me. My friend, Katy took it and photoshopped it. Bask in it's glory, bitches.