It really sucks. I've become addicted to this site. And now I have to give up blogging everyday. But you guys will be fine without me. Just comment me whenever you think of me and when I get back on I'll reply to them all lol.
So Ryan hasn't called me in days and well.. I'm kinda glad. He's just.. odd. And I don't want to deal with him anymore.. But, because of exams, my lunch is the same as my ex's, and he always stares at me. I swear I'm gonna spork his eyes out. And then the other day I went into Matt's class to talk to him and my ex is like, "hey, Brandy" and I so wanted to turn around and be like, "since when are you allowed to speak to me??"
You see, things are messed up with him. As you might know from past posts, my ex wanted me back right before Christmas break. Then he started dating someone else. SO I'm totally bitter, but I have the right to be. And they're always together, holding onto eachother and making me want too gag. I dated him for over 2 years and let's just say he made me impure lol!! So I have a connection that isn't broken yet to him. I'm so sick of thinking of him and seeing his stupid face and crying because I can't have him. It's RIDICULOUS. And I need to get over it. She won. I lost. And well.. who even cares. He's not even a catch. I can do so much better.
Wow. That was waaay bitchy.
So I wrote a poem yesterday. Here it is...
The things I could never tell you
Are all locked inside my head
They're sure to remain inside
Even when I am dead.
The things I could never tell you
They tore us apart
And I sat idley by
As I ripped out your heart.
The things I could never tell you
They keep me up at night
The warm wetness soaks my cheeks
Even with lids locked tight.
The things I could never tell you
Always involved pain
I felt like by hurting myself
I pushed away your reign.
The things I could never tell you I still have blocked away
Pushing back those memories
To live another day.
The things I could never tell you
Made me walk alone
And pour my lust onto a knife
And shake me to the bone.
The things I could never tell you
Now I have to say
I know I'm still in love with you
But this is my last day.
What do you think? I should make a blog with all my poems. I write so many of them, yet hardly post them. Maybe I'll do that..
Well, this is farewell until next time. I love you guys so much. You're like family to me. My little sisters haha. Be safe and I promise I'll still be on here. Love you so so much!! <3
5 comments:
awww... im so sad...T__T idnt want you to leave...
Its kinda weird how your always tellin me "i hopa everything gets better" and stuff lke that..
But anyways... I cant make this comment too long.. but I guess now that you'll be gone...i'll have plenty of time to post comments...*tear*
p.s. this comment is anonymous because im so fkin lazy, but you know it's me,broken...
brandyyyyyyyy :'( i'll miss you like anything! seriously you really are like my older sister, and i love you sooo sooo sooo much :)
and dont worry about your ex lol i'll telepathically poke a fork in his eye for yooouuu <3 :)
Like omg yuh fucking emo creep,,yuh SUCK!!! like aww nah yurh poems are shit and depressing,,get sum fucking friends yuh loser,,delete yurh blog page,,stop writing shite and smile or fucking summit,,im not from the states im from north east england and where i cum from being a emo is nowt 2 be proud of,,infact me and my friends make emo's life hell after the fall owt of me and my ex-best-mate,,,,so gat a life yuh sad lil loser and grow up, coz 1 day yuh will luk back and see wot an arsehole yuh realli are!! fucking wanker
omfg emo freak why dont you get a grip instead of sitting around all day slitting your wrists and talking about how you like getting wisdom teeth took out and shit like that tbh i have very high intentions of going round north est engaland and killing every fucking emo in sight and if i could meet you i would be happy to kill you too and for roanne taylor she is a emo freak :D
Brandy yuh fucking suck!!!!!!! get a fucking life yuh pathetic emo cunt!
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